I received a letter the other day, asking me to verify my application to Holy Cross. I dutifully filled out the attached form, and when I came to the space on the sheet where it asked me if I had any relatives who have attended the college, I thought “Do I ever!” and began to list the endless slew of family members. I kid you not; this list goes on for days. Holy Cross even has an O’Neil Building hidden in the science complex. As I wrote down the many family members with a Holy Cross diploma, I became reminded of the reason for my initial dislike for Holy Cross: the legacy. I feel in college, I should have a place to explore myself, away from the predetermined standards of family and my childhood. Holy Cross not only would serve as a constant reminder of my family, but I would feel like I would just live my dad’s or cousin’s or aunt’s or uncle’s life, not create a path of my own. I convinced myself that I grew up from these unwarranted thoughts when I accepted the school as an exact fit for what I want in a college: small, New England, near a city, good at math and science, but my familial issues stay in the back of my mind, despite how logical a choice this makes. Through all this, I cannot help but compare myself to Gogol and his unfailing need to remove himself from his family. When I read the novel, I judged Gogol and called him immature for reacting so fiercely against his family and culture, but in real life I find myself doing the exact same thing. Does this make me as immature as Gogol? Wow, I hope not.
 |
| Is The College of the Holy Cross in my past? Definitely. Is it in my future? Perhaps... |
As a side note, Alex Hurtuk, do not let my Holy Cross qualms deter you in any way from considering this school, it’s still a great one. I even still like it, I just have some strange, deep-seated issues with it.
Hello MBO!
ReplyDeleteI also find myself rebelling from my family. Both of my parents, along with many cousins, aunts and uncles, attended college at the University of Michigan and for some reason, I could not bring myself to apply there. I know Michigan has good academics, but I could not simply apply there just because my parents went there. In fact, it may be the reason why I disliked the school so much. I think in the back of my mind I do not want to follow in the footsteps of my parents, but make a new path for myself too. Another situation that irritates me is when I get the question, "So did you hear back from Michigan yet?" And I have to respond, "Um..no! I did not apply there!" or when someone asks, "How is your sister doing at Michigan?" and I have to reply, "Actually she is at Boston College." For these reasons and many more, I do not want people to associate me with the college my parents went to, but with my own college, just as my sister did.
Marybeth, I completely agree with you, and no, this definitely does not make you immature at all. My dad went to Princeton, and many times I felt disappointed in myself compared to him because I am definitely not Princeton material as he was. However, it is not fair to compare yourself to other family members. Also, I have never wanted to go there. I like the idea of branching out and creating my own path in life. This is why I will never attend the same school as any of my siblings as well (especially my twin, no offense Meghan!).
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you! Even though I thoroughly like the college that my sister attends, I find it very difficult to picture myself on the campus, and the only reason for my aversion is because my sister goes there...and I love my sister! I feel like everyone should have to chance to branch out and do something different with their lives. And although I too was critical of Gogol's dislike towards his family, I can understand how we all share the desire to branch out and have our own lives.
ReplyDeleteMB! I sit in the same situation as you. My grandparents, parents, and sister all attended Syracuse University. I have visited there numerous times and find myself at home during every visit. However, I feel the need to branch away from what feels comfortable, and find my own path to follow in life. I believe that in order to mature and lead my life the way I desire, I must search other schools. I have confidence toward finding another school that gives me this similar home-like feel.
ReplyDelete